q&a / infant sleep with anne marks of full feedings 3
Without a doubt, one of the most discussed topics in our pods is sleep – an elusive commodity once a new baby is in the picture. We spoke with Ann Marks, mom to three, model, and founder of Full Feedings, an infant sleep consultancy, about dream feeds, crying it out, swapping time zones with a baby, and more.
Tell us a little about yourself.
When I found out I was pregnant with my first child in 2015, I knew I wouldn’t survive the sleepless nights for long. I set out to find a method that would get my daughter sleeping through the night as quickly as possible without compromising her needs. I wanted her to sleep so that I could sleep. That was my only goal.
After considerable research, there wasn’t one method that did it all for me. I found most baby sleep approaches to be too rigid, too soft, too outdated, and unrelatable. I ended up using a mixture of the techniques currently available and relied on my instincts. Ultimately, I created my own method and Full Feedings was born.
What can I do, from birth, to work on getting my baby to sleep well?
If you do nothing else, working to establish full feedings (bottle or breast) from birth, will help your little one sleep. Hungry babies don’t sleep well, so this is the “work” in the early days. Try to keep your baby awake long enough to take a full feed. What is a full feed? For the breastfed baby, I consider it to be 30 minutes at the breast, including burp time, as long as it’s not excessive. For the bottle fed baby, I consider a full feed to be finishing an age-appropriate amount of milk in 30 minutes, including burp time, as long as it’s not excessive.
Is it possible to get my baby to consistently sleep through the night, without crying it out?
Yes. I believe if you work on meeting your baby’s food and sleep needs consistently and fully, from birth, he or she will naturally sleep through the night by 8-to-12-weeks. Our focus is making sure your baby is eating enough during the daytime hours, so there is no need to feed at night. Usually they sleep through the night on their own following my Full Feedings Method, but if they don’t, we gently help them sleep through the night by moving night feeds and rocking them back to sleep. There is no need to let your baby cry, but if you choose to do that, there is no judgment.
What do you recommend parents do when toddlers experience a sleep regression? Check to make sure your baby isn’t napping too long during the day. At 18 months your child only needs 2 hours of daytime sleep. 2-year-olds only need 1.5 hours of daytime sleep. And it goes down from there. Sleeping too much during the day can cause a regression, so that is typically the first place to look. From there, make sure you are maintaining 12 hours of daytime and using the same wake windows, so your baby isn’t becoming overly tired in any period.
What is the best thing to do for your baby when traveling to a new time zone?
Traveling with a baby is a lot easier than people think. On the day of travel, work to keep your baby on their same routine in their home zone. When you arrive at your destination, if it’s past their normal bedtime in the new time zone, put them to bed as soon as possible. If it’s earlier than their normal bedtime in the new time zone, utilize an ultra-short catnap to get your baby to their bedtime in the new time zone without them becoming overly tired.
On morning one, if you have traveled West, your baby will likely wake very early in the morning. Start their day at that time and follow your age-appropriate daily routine. Utilize an ultra-short catnap to get your baby to bedtime in the new time zone without them becoming overly tired. If you have traveled East, you will have to wake your baby at 7 a.m. in the new time zone and start your day.
On morning two, repeat the same process as morning one. If you have traveled West, your baby should wake later.
On morning three, repeat the same process as morning one and two. If you have traveled West, your baby should wake at their “normal” start of day time, but in the new time zone.
I have a document outlining this method in my online program.
Will holding my baby create a bad habit?
Please don’t listen to anyone who tells you that holding your precious newborn is bad. I believe that holding your baby is natural and necessary to set yourself up for sleep success. Why is that? Because holding your baby and helping your baby into an age-appropriate daytime routine will ensure they get the adequate rest they need during the daytime. This will prevent them from becoming overly tired and help you achieve consistent nighttime sleep. I am not saying you should hold your baby all day, because I still want you to try for independent naps, but I highly suggest rocking them to sleep for their age-appropriate Optimal Wake Time (OWT) and then gently putting them down. You will enjoy the snuggles (some of the best life has to offer) and will be doing the right thing to achieve the consistent nighttime sleep you want. Once your baby is sleeping all night, the entire family will be rested and better equipped to teach and learn self-soothing.
How can I get my baby to stop feeding at night?
The best way to stop night feeds is to focus on ensuring your baby is fully fed during the daytime hours. As a loose rule of thumb, if your baby is over the age of 8 weeks, whatever they are eating at night, is what we need to “move” to the day. I call it milk management. First, work to move the food from the night to the day. Then, if your baby doesn’t naturally sleep through the night on their own, move the feeds towards the morning.
What is a dream feed and should I use one?
It is an extra feed between 10-11 p.m., where ideally the baby stays asleep for a full feeding. At night, we are working to extend time between feeds. By 8 weeks, your baby can go about 8 hours without food, based on what they can physically consume and their body’s ability to maintain their blood sugar. I want those hours to be from 10:30 p.m. - 6:30 a.m.. Your baby will naturally eat at the dream feed time from birth and I highly suggest you keep this extra feed in place. It’s a great time to get your partner involved if you are bottle feeding. After the feed, you want to try and burp your baby well, but it’s very common that some babies don’t burp at this time. Once you are sleeping through the night with the dream feed, you can easily get rid of it by 12-16 weeks. If you choose not to do a dream feed or your baby doesn’t tolerate it, that is okay, as long as you are realistic in your expectation about your baby sleeping through the night. By 12-16 weeks, your baby can go 12 hours without food (as long as they are fully fed during the day), so keep this in mind if you aren’t using a dream feed.
My baby has their days and nights confused. What should I do?
A common problem I hear from parents is that their baby has days and nights confused. What this typically indicates is that your baby is likely getting too much daytime sleep. We must limit daytime sleep at each age to ensure 12 hours of sleep is possible at night. If your baby sleeps too much during the day, they will wake at night and be ready to party. I often say, either you wake your baby during the day, or they will wake you at night. Don’t listen to our parent’s generation, which says “you never wake a sleeping baby” because I believe you always wake a sleeping baby. For the first month of your baby’s life, you will limit daytime sleep by feeding at least every three hours during the day. As you get closer to 1 month, I suggest limiting naps to no longer than one-and-a-half-hours or sometimes less depending on if we use a late afternoon catnap. By limiting daytime sleep, based on your baby’s age-appropriate norms (of how much they can physically sleep in 24-hours) we ensure your baby can consistently sleep 12 hours a night.
Ann has generously offered 20% off her $99.99/year and $199.99/year infant programs, which teach her easy three-step method for helping babies sleep through the night. Use the code MYSHASLEEPS for 20% off your purchase at checkout.